Kindnesses Around the World
This series will capture the universal language of kindness as it is practiced in different countries and cultures - from the Italian concept of Caffe Sospeso to the Japanese idea of Omotenashi. Follow the series on my Instagram @salma.hasan.ali.
What’s a particular kindness tradition in your culture?
This ancient Turkish tradition, with roots in Islam, refers to ‘paying it forward’ specifically with bread. Someone goes to a bakery and pays for two loaves, takes one and says the other is askida ekmek. It’s bagged and hung up with other bread donations so someone in need can simply take it off the hook.
In a Spanish restaurant, a bill is not brought until it’s requested and there’s no rush to leave a table, prioritizing human connection over efficiency or financial gain. This is the spirit of Sobremesa, lingering in conversation after a meal.
Tranquilo is a Colombian state of mind—to accept that things will not go according to plan or schedule, but to approach this with an unhurried mindset, a sense of calm, without worry for things out of your control.
Taarof is often practiced when friends in Iran go out for a meal and then engage in long debates about who will pay for dinner. The idea is to make others feel valued and respected; to prioritize other people’s comfort and dignity over one’s own.
This Inuit word captures the excited anticipation that makes you repeatedly glance out the window or go outside to check if your visitor has arrived.
This idea of selfless hospitality has roots in the Japanese tea ceremony. The host takes time to pick out just the right tea set, flowers, decorations to make the guest feel welcome. But the guest is never told of all the preparation because the host does not expect recognition or appreciation.
“Suspended coffee” is the Neapolitan tradition of buying two coffees, drinking one, and letting the barista know that the second is ‘suspended’ for someone who needs it. The barista keeps track, and serves anyone asking for caffe sospesofor free.
This is newsletter #55. If you know anyone who might enjoy this newsletter, they can subscribe for free here. A few past newsletters:
Following a story’s thread home
My dad’s wisdom that guides me every day
“You will be someone’s ancestor”
How sharing my story is helping me heal
If the hat fits (This too has passed)
My soundtrack for proton radiation
The unexpected blessings of falling ill