We’re all storytellers
I’m not sure how the conversation with the Pakistani High Commissioner in London started with my telling him the story of how Arif and I first met and he poured the whole bottle of chilli pepper into the curry he was cooking—not the usual way to start a formal meeting with a high-level diplomat you’re meeting for the first time! But I can tell you it changed the tone and course of our conversation. For the next 45 minutes High Commissioner Moazzam Ahmad Khan shared some beautifully meaningful, personal, candid stories, relating to the themes of the 30 Days book I was presenting to him.
Like the story of a Pakistani migrant worker he met in the UAE when he was Ambassador there, with whom he shared a cold bottle of Coke on a hot day; the worker told him that that was the first time he’d had Coke in the six months he’d been there, because he was saving and sending every penny back to his family in Pakistan. Such a simple pleasure that we take for granted, High Commissioner Khan recalled, as we talked about gratitude and the wisdoms we learn in unexpected ways. The encounter inspired him to make the salary and dignity of migrant workers one of his top priorities.
He shared a story, probably stirred in his memory by my tale of Arif cooking curry at Columbia—about his cousin who was studying at Yale University and was longing for his mother’s bhuna wa gosht (a Pakistani dish where mutton is cooked in a semi-dry gravy). He wrote a letter to his mom asking for the recipe; his mom received it a week later, figured out precise measurements, and wrote a letter back with the recipe. The young student was thrilled, but he didn’t understand a key word in Urdu; what does bhunno mean he wondered (it’s the most essential step when spices are stirred and cooked thoroughly). So he booked a call to ask his mom. The whole back and forth, decades before FaceTime and WhatsApp, took over a month, by which time the craving was long gone or too complicated to quell. The High Commissioner and I had a good laugh!
This story sharing allowed us to get to know each other in a much deeper way in a very short time. I got a sense of the High Commissioner’s compassion, warmth, and humility, and gained an understanding of what inspired some of his diplomatic priorities. Our meeting ended with him inviting me to his home for dinner the next time Arif and I are in London, so iA the story telling will continue.
Sharing our stories helps build respect, trust, and connection—which is at the heart of diplomacy too. Our stories reveal our values and provide an insight into why we do what we do. Starting a conversation, meeting, or speech with a story helps allay formalities and allow for deeper, more meaningful connections. In short, stories humanize.
That’s why I’m so excited to launch the next in the “30 Days” series of stories this Ramadan. This year I’ll invite someone each day to answer one prompt from the 30 Days Journal, around themes of gratitude, wisdoms, traditions, kindness, inspiration, and reflection.
Some who have agreed to participate include: El-Hibri Foundation President Farhan Latif who will share a wisdom from his father that continues to guide him; Yusef Salaam of the Exonerated Central Park 5 who will reveal what brings him joy; scholar Dr. Azizah al-Hibri who will tell us about an unforgettable kindness; and architect and activist Sofia Karim who will share a family dish that brings back happy memories.
Whether you celebrate the month of Ramadan or not, please do join in this 30 days of stories, and involve your families too. You’ll be happy you took some time to think about the things you’re grateful for and the simple pleasures that make you smile, the mistakes you’ve learned from and the wisdoms that guide you, who inspires you to live authentically and what legacy you’d like to leave.
You can record your stories in the 30 Days Journal, and by the end of the month, you’ll have your own book of personal stories, a keepsake for generations. (You can get a journal here.)
If you feel comfortable, hope you’ll share some stories with me; I would love to get to know you better.
Follow 30 Days of stories on Instagram @salma.hasan.ali and on Facebook @30days30deeds. I’ll share weekly highlights through this newsletter.
The 30 Days book makes a beautiful and meaningful Ramadan/Eid gift. You can purchase one here before this limited edition runs out. (And please use the discount code “freeshipping” as a Ramadan treat.)
UPCOMING EVENTS
Friends in the DC area, please join me for an inspiring keynote at the beautiful Diyanet Center, March 18th 2pm. Details here.
Thank you to Next Wave Muslim Initiative (NWMI) for inviting me to speak about service, good deeds, and the 30 Days project. Please join me on March 25th at 6:15pm. Details here.
Please follow more inspiring stories on Instagram @salma.hasan.ali.
If you’d like to receive an occasional dose of joy in your inbox, please subscribe to this newsletter (or check your spam folder, they may already be in there; this is newsletter #25.)
A few past newsletters:
A Letter of Gratitude, for my Husband’s Surgeon
Wisdoms Inspired in Nature: My New Book!
Life Lessons for my Son, that I Learned this Week
Coming to America and the Power of Our Stories